Dude… Screw the Avengers movie. It’s the most wonderful day of the year. Yup… Star Wars Day. The day true fans (and tag along hipsters) share in the joy of the holy trilogy and all it’s glorious-add ons. Star Wars is more than a movie. It teaches the universal lessons of good versus evil, it changed the way films are made, and gave us a reason to love America, theater seating and John Williams.
May 4th was adopted by fans the past few years as Star Wars Day (May the 4th be with you… get it). I knew I had to address it now before every lame on my social networking site decided to post SW memes, mash ups, and other horrid abominations of the movies that shaped my youth….
So without further ado, here are 5 things you can do on Star Wars Day if you really are a fan.
#1: Watch a Star Wars movie (padawan technique):
This is a no brainer. Seriously. And while my favorite is Empire Strikes Back… it doesn’t matter which one you want. Honestly I would rather see the worst prequel over Hunger Games any day. This is awesome because unlike your stupid friends on FB who are going to jump on the bandwagon of the movies you love and act like they saw Empire in the movies like you did when they aren’t old enough to remember owning cassette tapes… you can do this at home, in the privacy of your abode, not calling attention to yourself and how trendy you are. That isn’t the jedi way.
#2 Watch the trilogy (Council Material):
This is the next step in what I call the “Humble Homage”. Setting aside a night to watch the 3 classics, it’s sort of like your first kiss only that girl left you… Star Wars doesn’t. 6 plus hours of cinema greatness might be too much for some. But not for most. In 2010 I ran a 6 movie marathon and gave out jedi certificates to anyone who could watch them all, only 2 survived the trial.
#3 Talk like Yoda all day (padawan technique):
If you want to be more vocal about your love of the greatest movies of all time, might I suggest talking like the coolest dude of them all. Yoda talk is more difficult than you think. There is a science behind it. Yoda makes words plural the way we normally do and conjugates his verbs the same way. The difference is in the order of the words. Our English structure is subject- verb- object order while Yoda’s seems to like object-subject- verb order. So while you say “The OMBG PODCAST is the coolest around” Wise Yoda would say “Coolest around OMBG podcast is”. And honestly who wants to argue with that? Talking like Yoda all day can be tough, you will often slip out of character, but some young girl from hot topic with a “I love nerds” button may think you’re cute enough to take a twitter pic with her, so you may come out on top… unlike the advanced challenge in number 4.
#4 Talk like Jar Jar Binks (Council Material):
This is obviously more difficult. Jar Jar is Gungan. Gungan dialect is way more difficult for you Offworlders to understand. While the majority of people who choose to just hate on “The Binks” for what he is, many are not paying attention to the care that went into Gungan dialect. Like most things in the SW universe, there is great care and detail. Gungan dialect uses different examples of fundamental language rules as well as phonetic rules mixed in, “The Binks” often changes his speech pattern to fit the situation. For instance, as he assimilates with others his speech changes. He uses “I” 4 times, “my” 5 times, and “meesa” 24 times in a 33 word count. The same word basically means the same thing but he uses “I” and “my” without any rhyme or reason as the movie goes on. ”meesa” being an example of one of the more dominant (and annoying concepts) of the language. Meesa Weesa and Yousa mean “me, we, and you” it can be stand alone or meant to include a verb: “Weesa no like the Naboo” Meaning We don’t like the Naboo” (duh). Of course compounding plays a big role too. Jar Jar for example was exiled due to the “nocomebackie law”… 3 guesses what that means.
Of course I don’t mean this would be tough for the language. Jar Jar has gotten such a heated response from fan boys looking to be angry at something (other than the fact they aren’t 10 anymore) that you may be assaulted after 5 minutes of this speech pattern. I say if you’re gonna be dumb you gotta be tough. I love Star Wars, and if I feel like talking Gungan, well you’re gonna have to deal. I haven’t forgotten that Star Wars belongs to the kids just as much as me. If Jar Jar lets them feel an ounce of the love for those films I felt as a kid. The damn Gungan is all right with me.
#5 Star Wars Cosplay…. at The Avengers Screening:
This is the holy grail. I don’t cosplay. I’m too old and I don’t see the point. My looks are ogreish enough its amazing I can get girls to talk to me, I don’t want to skew those numbers with dressing up in cosplay and proving to the world I am slightly more weird than they think I already am. That being said… Cosplay done right is effin awesome. I appreciate the time and money gone into them, and I don’t mind posting pics on our blogs of dedicated cosplay fans. But here is your challenge Cosplay dudes… go to the Avengers screening in your 501st gear. Deathmarch your way past the line, buy some popcorn and then set anyone with a DC tshirt on fire with a flamethrower.