Dear Coachella, Ok, we get it. You had a fancy hologram of Tupac come out and dazzle the crowd opening night. I’m not surprised, actually I didn’t even click on the link when I first saw it yesterday. It’s the sort of thing I expect from multi million dollar concerts like yours. You should wow somebody. I am pretty ok with that, I am even ok with the fact that the “modern” world is going apeshit over this little stunt. They should. I mean it cost enough. But let’s be honest, it’s not a true hologram. It’s actually a projected 2d image created by the Digital Domain Media Group that also uses a visual trick called Pepper’s Ghost. “This is not found footage. This is not archival footage,” Digital Domain’s chief creative officer Ed Ulbrich told the Wall Street Journal. “This is an illusion.” That’s why I can’t figure out what the big fuss is about. There is so much of it, after 5 minutes of dancing around and rapping, there is talk of a full scale tour. And for the life of me, a music tour, is about… well performance. It’s not about a pre recorded optical illusion right? I mean that’s what I thought. But America doesn’t mind paying for boy bands and pop acts that lip sync, I guess paying top dollar for an act that isn’t real isn’t a big deal. Me on the other hand, I like the shock and awe of what may or may not happen at a live show. But since we are on the subject, I think the powers that be chose poorly. If we are going to spend 6 figures for a five minute performance, let’s see something that would be really cool. So without further ado… here are three things I think we would have been better off seeing. #1 Run DMC (Jam Master Jay) Picture this… You got today’s rap in the mainstream that is pretty much samples and autotune, and no lyrics just a hook over and over and you got all these guys talking about stuff I don’t have… They talk about Escalades, sitting around in hot tubs with big booty chicks, too much money, their mansions, traveling to Europe to shop for suits they have to wear on court day (but they’ll never get caught) etc… It ain’t me. I can’t identify with mainstream rap. I like underground hip hop. Stuff that I can relate to. On another note, I love eighties hip hop because it was just fun. And what better rap act to bring back than RUN DMC? This is one of the most influential acts in history, the first to make a solid connection about the MC and DJ relationship, and speaking of DJ… Imagine Jam Master Jay in hologram form. That’s epic. #2 SKINNY Danzig Yeah… we know Danzig ain’t dead. But he kind of is. If you had seen last year’s horrible effort at Fun Fun Fun Fest 2011 in Austin you would know that according to festival organizers a fatter balding man who claimed to be Danzig showed up, made impossible demands, wanted french onion soup, wind screens, a stage heater, better lighting and refused to go on until he was 45 minutes late, THEN when the park was shutting down at 10pm and they told him he had 5 more minutes, he proceeded to tell the crowd how he just wanted to play for you guys and how oppressed the show was stalling for more time. This ain’t the Danzig we wanted to see. The Danzig we remember from the old days. A better in shape and dark soul has been replaced by less hair, a prima donna attitude, and the only muscle that got bigger was the table muscle. So imagine Danzig Legacy touring with a hologram young Danzig. Word. Holograms can’t complain about the lighting… they are light. Check out this footage of Danzig now and you tell me. #3 THE TRONS I don’t want to see these guys as a hologram, but if you are going to have non humans on stage. Make them Robots. I fell in love with The Trons a few years ago, and interviewed their creator about them. This band is a total garage robot band, built by their manager who is also a musician, they play their own instruments, have developed voice and “personality” and have even gone on tour. It’s not 6 figures… it’s real life garage rock. You could do way worse…